Each week, I walk with two of the greatest women I know.
Between us, we have navigated each other's lives for almost thirty years.
We are all very different. Different personalities, different ways of looking at things and, quite often, very different opinions.
But somehow, we complement each other.
And every week, we walk.
Over the years, those walks have seen us through an awful lot of life.
The highs, the lows, the things we are proud of, the things we'd rather forget, the decisions we can't make and the occasional moments when one of us needs the other two to say, What on earth are you doing?
We have something we call our circle of truth.
Although, as there are three of us, I've come to think of it as our triangle of truth.
It's a safe space.
A place where we can say what we're really thinking and how we're really feeling without fear of judgement.
But there's another side to it.
If you ask for an opinion, you'd better be prepared to hear the answer.
Because while there is love and support in our triangle, there is also honesty.
The kind that comes from knowing someone for almost thirty years and genuinely wanting the best for them.
And that, I think, is quite rare.
These friendships don't happen overnight.
They start with those initial encounters when you meet someone and something clicks. Then come the shared experiences. The laughter. The nights out. The marriages, children, jobs and houses. The ordinary days and the extraordinary ones.
And gradually, almost without noticing, friendship becomes something deeper.
Trust.
I think you really discover who your people are when life becomes difficult.
When something happens that you weren't expecting. When you're struggling. When you're not particularly good company. When you don't have very much to give back.
You look around.
And you notice who is still standing beside you.
That's when friendship changes.
It stops being about how often you see one another or whether you've remembered a birthday. It becomes knowing that there are people in this world with whom you don't have to pretend.
People who know your history.
Who understand why certain things matter to you.
Who know when you need advice and when you just need someone to listen.
Who will celebrate your successes without envy and sit beside you through your failures without judgement.
And who, occasionally, will tell you something you absolutely do not want to hear.
I can't tell you how many times our triangle of truth has been my saviour.
There have been times when I've arrived for our walk carrying something that felt enormous and returned home with it feeling just a little bit lighter.
Not necessarily because we'd solved it.
Sometimes there isn't a solution.
But because I'd been heard.
Loved.
And respected.
Perhaps that's why those walks have become one of the highlights of my week.
On the surface, it's simply three women going for a walk.
But really, we're carrying nearly thirty years of one another's lives with us.
We've watched each other change. We've watched each other get things spectacularly right and spectacularly wrong.
We've grown older together.
There are lots of things we're encouraged to collect as we go through life.
Possessions. Achievements. Success.
But I think one of the greatest things you can ever collect is a handful of really good people.
The ones who know you.
The ones who tell you the truth.
And the ones who, when life becomes difficult, are still standing beside you.
Nearly thirty years later, my triangle is still standing.
And for that, I will always be grateful.
Before you go...
Who is in your circle of truth?
The person — or people — you can call when life gets messy, who will listen without judgement but love you enough to tell you the truth when you need to hear it?
Perhaps today is a good day to tell them how much that friendship means to you.
And I'd love to hear about them too. Send me an email and tell me about the people who have stood beside you through life. welcome@tenacious-wellness.com
Because some friendships deserve to be celebrated.
Paula x www.tenaciouswellness.co.uk