Sometimes life gets so busy that we forget — or simply don’t have the energy — to invest in one of the most important things we have: connection.
I’m not talking about the friend you haven’t seen in an age, or the invitation to a big catch-up where you’ll spend half the evening talking to people you barely know. I’m talking about your core group. The people who really matter. The ones who know you, love you and are woven into the fabric of your life.
For me, that’s my family.
Having a blended family means there are always lots of beautiful people I want to share my time with. Between us, Andy and I have seven children and four grandchildren, so getting everyone together individually isn’t always easy. Often, the nicest way to see everyone is simply to gather them all in one place.
My oldest son works away and was home for the weekend recently. I love these occasions, and it seemed like the perfect excuse for a family BBQ.
Food is nearly always at the centre of our festivities, and this get-together was no exception.
Andy and I were up early, starting all the preparation. Lamb to baste, fish to stuff, vegetables to pick from the garden. We swept and brushed, moved things around and laid a blanket on the grass with boxes of toys for the children.
There was plenty of faffing — although, admittedly, most of that was probably me.
By the time everyone began arriving, everything was ready. Even the weather had decided to be kind to us.
And at some point during the afternoon, I stood back and took a deep breath.
Around me were our children and grandchildren, talking, smiling and laughing. The little ones were playing. Conversations were happening everywhere. People were eating, catching up and simply enjoying being together.
And I thought, this is what it’s all about.
Not the perfectly basted lamb. Not whether I’d swept the patio or remembered everything I wanted to put on the table. Those things are lovely, and I genuinely enjoy doing them, but they weren’t what mattered.
What mattered was that we had created the space for the people we love to connect.
We were making memories.
I’m not suggesting we all suddenly need to host a party or spend days preparing food for everyone we know. Connection doesn’t have to be complicated or impressive.
Sometimes it’s inviting someone in for a cup of tea.
It’s putting your phone down and really listening when you ask how they are.
It’s noticing when someone has gone a little quiet.
It’s making the call rather than thinking, I must ring them sometime.
And perhaps most importantly, it’s keeping the promises we make so casually.
When we say, “We must do this again soon,” perhaps we should actually do it.
Life will always give us reasons to put things off. We’re busy. We’re tired. There’s work to do, washing to put away, appointments to keep and a hundred other things demanding our attention.
But the people we love won’t always be sitting around our table.
For me, my core connections are some of the most valuable things I have. And however busy or tired I might be, I want to keep making time for them.
Because ultimately, I don’t think we remember how tidy the house was or whether everything went exactly to plan.
We remember the laughter.
We remember the conversations.
We remember sitting around a table with the people we love.
And we remember how it felt to belong.
Before You Go…
Before you rush back into your day, take a moment to think about the people who really matter to you.
Is there someone you’ve been meaning to call? Someone you keep saying you’ll have that coffee with? Or perhaps someone you love who you simply haven’t sat and really talked to for a while?
Send the message. Make the call. Put the date in the diary.
Life has a habit of filling every bit of space we give it, and sometimes we have to deliberately make room for the people we love.
And while you’re here, I hope you’ll stay connected with us too. Tenacious is a place to share stories, discover new things and navigate these changing seasons of life together. Have a wander around the website or join our free monthly newsletter and become part of our growing community.
There’s always room for one more around our table.
Until next time,
Paula x www.tenaciouswellness.co.uk