When I was younger, I spent a lot of time trying to fit in—navigating the social cliques, tagging along with large extended friendship groups, and doing my best to seem like I belonged. But often, I felt like an outsider. I’d feel bad about myself for not getting excited about the latest handbag or trending lip colour. I’d worry that I didn’t run enough, ate too much, or simply wasn’t keeping up.
Social gatherings became something I quietly dreaded. I’d gravitate to the back of the room, to the darker corners, silently hoping someone wouldn’t ask me to mingle. I didn’t crave the spotlight—I craved connection.
As I got older, something shifted. I began to truly value my time. I learned the power of saying no to things that didn’t bring me joy. I started investing in the things I did love—walking, writing, painting, cooking, and gardening. I slowly peeled away the layers of expectation and started showing up as myself.
And then, almost without realising it, I began finding my crowd.
A group of people where I felt accepted precisely as I am. I didn’t have to dilute my passions, mute my opinions, or shrink my personality for social acceptance. I was enough.
Something beautiful also began to happen.
I bloomed.
Like a flower planted in the right soil, I began to flourish. I found a voice within me that gently but firmly allowed me to say no, without apology. I surrounded myself with people who lifted me up, saw me for who I am, and let me grow without judgment.
In return, I found something far more valuable than popularity—meaningful friendships, new hobbies, and purpose.
It’s not that the groups I once tried to fit into were wrong—they were just different from me.
So, if you feel like I once did—on the edge of the crowd, not quite clicking, not entirely engaging—it might be that the problem isn’t you. Maybe you just haven’t found your crowd yet.
But trust me, they’re out there.
And when you find them, they become your chosen family.
Keep looking. Keep being you.
Because your crowd?
They’re waiting to find you too.
Thank you for taking a few moments to read this week's Tenacious blog.
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Until next time,
Paula x
Founder, Tenacious Wellness
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